Therapists miffed after being refered to as 'emotional jockstraps'

Seriously folks, the titles, they just come to me.

So I'm working at Target still. No big surprise there. My love life is still unrequited, my social life still dull, and yes, I still need to shave.

Oh, and the Lions still suck.

Now that we have all those cumbersome, Phil's life is still the same even though he's moved, details out of the way, let's talk about something amusing. Like "Scrubs".

Scrubs is, I think, the most imaginatively funny show I've ever seen. Now I've never seen an entire episode of The Office, but I just can't picture them having anything better than a young doctor chasing a bunch of elderly gay men off his porch while screaming, "Get off my porch you old queens!". I just don't see it happening.

Also, I keep getting invited to events that I can't attend. I can arrive at no other conclusion than my friends must be sadists and I, a lonely masochist, am drawn to them like a moth who enjoys having his wings singed is drawn to a bonfire. I'd like to take a moment here and acknowledge Dwight, Dan, and Ezra for all inviting me to things within the last 10 days that I couldn't, won't be able to, or likely can't attend. You guys are a not so subtle reminder that it's possible to have good friends and still be a loser. Thanks guys.

Anyway, my sister just left, so it's time for me to play video games while I sit at home. Alone. So alone.