Lifeguard drowns, is revived, and is then promptly slain by irony

So yesterday was April Fool's Day, well 2 days ago now as it just rolled past midnight. Not a single joke did I see. It was very dissapointing. I'll need to stock up on fake dog crap for next year (we own 3 dogs so the genuine article just isn't as amusing anymore).

Had a chance to visit for a bit with Doug and Liz the other day. It's always good to see those two as they now reside in Colorado. It was kind of awkward at one point because it turns out they came home because a family member died and I wasn't made aware of this so I just showed up and I'm cracking jokes at what is, essentially, a delayed wake. I may not have mentioned this before but I have a real talent for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Like this one time at a picnic a bee landed on my plate and the guy across from me says, "Bet you don't wanna eat him!" ya know, har har, and I being the joker had to reply "Oh yeah I do, they're very healthy, I eat bees all the time" and Mr. HarHar asks, "Well how do you know they're healthy?" to which I replied, "Well I don't have cancer do I?" and of course, sitting a few people down was a lady who had cancer. I didn't really know her, couldn't have known, but that's what I do all the time.

I was introduced to the word, "Minger" earlier this week. Wonderful word, means nasty or disgusting in reference to a person and is usually used by males to refer to ugly females, typically in brittish slang, "She's a real minger, that one, a real 8-pinter". I think I actually love the phrase "8-pinter" more than I do minger, but they're both quite nice. Another favorite piece of brittish slang is "gets on my tits" in place of "makes me mad", though I haven't worked up the requisite amount of courage to attempt using the phrase in public yet.

I'm going to bed now.